THE PLIGHT OF NIGERIAN WIDOWS

 
 As the world marks international widows day today, we will like you to read about the plight of Nigerian widows on this blog. The following are heart touching experiences of some Nigerian widows.
It is the fantasy of each young lady to locate her ideal man, her Prince in sparkling protective layer; who might swing her off her feet and lead her to the sacrificial table to absolute those two significant words, 'I do'. What's more, to there after, 'live cheerfully ever after' and develop old together. Be that as it may, life is not generally a luxurious situation or a children's story book, neither do all have the benefit of developing old together. Occasions happen that cut off such dreams; shocking us back to reality; an unforgiving reality that numerous are fighting to live. The intercession of death in life ends elevated dreams, desire and goals and in a marriage circumstance, demise brings last partition leaving the living accomplice to continue.

The body of my significant other was yet to be placed in the funeral home when the sibling took me to another room and got some information about the reports of the house, demanding that I needed to leave – Uju, Awka

 *My spouse was sleeping in healing facility when the sister requested immense measure of cash from our record and when I declined she rained mishandle on me, swearing that I would think twice about it. Three days after, my significant other passed on, his family slid on me, took his autos away and purged the house. On the day he was covered, the senior sibling solicited me to submit archives from the house and any property he claimed – Nwamaka – Nsukka 

*When my significant other kicked the bucket, his family requesting that I wed his more youthful sibling. When I cannot, they summoned a meeting to share my kids among them in light of the fact that I declined to stay in their family – Benedicta, Shagamu 

*I'm a designer and I have encountered the desolations of dowagers from Igbo land. My companion, Emeka, was in a coma and we contributed cash for his medicine ordinary. We never saw any of his siblings. The day he passed on, they assaulted his home, took away everything and requested that the lady leave the property. Emeka just purchased a property at Lekki before he took sick. I had the records. Later, I trusted in my companion's dowager. She sold the property N70m, purchased a house at Ilupeju for N30m and utilized N40m to start another life. She is fine today with the two kids she had with Emeka.
 - Another Igbo companion of mine kicked the bucket and when I got to the house the spouse was crying, hitting her head on the divider and saying she was done. I quieted her down and requesting that her take away the papers of the building they lived. She was hesitant yet I demanded and she gave the papers to her 16 year old child. Later, her in-laws came and solicited her to bring the archives from the house. She said their sibling never gave her the papers and that they ought to don't hesitate to seek the house. They did. I advised her in-laws that my companion once let me know he was going to offer the house and that they ought to see whether he sold it. They later left and I advised the lady to pack out of that house with the goal that no one would know the trap. She evened before the internment. Her in-laws looked for quite a long time on who purchased the house without achievement. Today, my companion's dowager is living on the rent from that house and dealing with the youngsters she bore for my companion – Biodun, Lagos.

 At the point when Mariam Bolaji (not genuine names) an educator and business visionary met her significant other a widower contracted bookkeeper, around 10 years back, for this single parent of one, it was something like a heavenly course of action. He was a Lagos-based reviewer who regularly crossed the north inspecting organizations. It was on one of such outings that he met delightful and carefree Mariam. It resembled all consuming, instant adoration and he charmed her enthusiastically until she offered into him. They got to be indivisible in the following five years that they sought. 'He was the adoration for my life, reviews Mariam as the tears assembled in her excellent eyes. "He was tall and exceptionally keen. You don't find that sort of bundle in one man. However, that was what God favored me with". Abandoning her 'usual range of familiarity' wasn't simple for Mariam. Be that as it may, she was a lot in adoration not to give up. So she stuffed up her business and work and moved down south to be with the man she adored. On May sixteenth 2009, they got hitched by orders and their Yoruba society and customs. Life a while later was joy. Their house was a home and they savored each other's organization. However, the delight appeared to be too great to last. By March the next year, she got a call that smashed her entire world, debilitating her extremely presence today. Her cute spouse of scarcely a year had passed on. "On the day my better half kicked the bucket, he called 20 minutes before he passed on and said that he was not feeling too well and that he was ceasing at the doctor's facility to check his pulse. In any case, when he should be home he didn't come. At that point I got a call from somebody who said my name was the keep going enlisted on my better half's telephone that I ought to rush to the doctor's facility. When I got to my entryway, one bicycle man let me know he saw one man battling with my better half in the auto in Akute. When I got to the center, he had kicked the bucket. In that spot in the clinic, my As-Salat individuals came and began letting me know I ought to recognize what to take in the house. I couldn't accept what I was hearing. My better half had quite recently passed on for the love of all that is pure and holy. They returned again and instructed me to take what I needed on the grounds that my better half was dead. I said I didn't have anything to take. My significant other was a widower with three kids. I let them know I was sitting tight for them to come. I was the main living spouse and I wedded him honest to goodness. Why would it be advisable for me to stress over property? You know whether I coordinated with those individuals, they would have asserted that I slaughtered the man. By what means would somebody be able to bite the dust and you are discussing property? It's not done like that in the north where I grew up. At the point when my in-laws came, I gave over everything to them. His telephones, keys, save keys to our home, his Pathfinder jeep, his office. For around six months my room was bolted and a large portion of my things got harmed. In the north when your better half passes on, they share everything as per what Islam says. In any case, here in the south, I see that they take after society. Northerners have their method for doing things. They give the dowager consideration. In the event that a Muslim kicks the bucket, his property is shared amongst his spouses and kids. Furthermore, in the event that you have an issue, individuals ascend to help you. Here, the story is distinctive. Rather, you discover individuals who need to exploit you. The main bolster I have gotten has been from my spouses senior sibling. Sadly, he is not in a position to help me monetarily. In spite of the fact that despite everything I live in the house we were building together, yet for my eldest brother by marriage, I would have been kicked out. The Yorubas have this convention that once you are hitched and you don't have a kid, it's an issue. The individual that went on wished he had a kid with me. I wish I had a tyke for my adored spouse. Individuals ought to move near a dowager since it is a torment that can't be taken away. They ought to move near the lady, energize her and meet her at the purpose of her need as opposed to denouncing her. Regardless of the amount you detest your significant other you wouldn't need him to pass on not to discuss a cherished one. Interesting as it might sound, Mariam is not the only one in this trial.

 A huge number of ladies crosswise over Africa and to be sure Nigeria are subjected to a wide range of brutal treatment on the demise of their life partners. The treacheries change from society to culture. Since the fourth World meeting on ladies in Beijing in 1995, consideration has been attracted to the requirement for the end of all types of oppression ladies. With the a huge number of Naira consumed by NGOs in making mindfulness about this barbaric treatment of dowagers, the practice keeps on holding influence in different groups in Nigeria and goes from abnormal to unusual to the incomprehensible. At the point when 38 year old Eunice, a local of Oyo lost her better half, her difficulty must be depicted as a bad dream. Having been blamed for executing her better half by her significant other's family from Kogi State, she was subjected to overwhelming mortification and obnoxious requests just to demonstrate her honesty. She was constrained to drink from the water utilized as a part of washing the remaining parts of her significant other and limited from going out for a while. Her hair was shaved, and her legacy denied and stolen from her. SHAGAMU, OGUN STATE For 40 year old Benedicta Oguntade from Shagamu in Ogun State, she was additionally blamed by her in laws for taking part in the demise of her better half. Custom followed through to its logical end and she experienced this unusual experience. "I was made to rest in the same room with my better half's carcass before he was covered in the morning. I was from that point made to cook, only a local method for checking on the off chance that I slaughtered my better half. My savage sisters-in-law requested I cooked and showed the nourishment outside in the night my better half was to be covered. They said if the sustenance vanished by morning, then I would be free and it would be realized that I knew nothing about the passing of my significant other. The sustenance vanishing would imply that my late spouse had nothing against me and he ate the nourishment. However, in the event that the sustenance stayed till the following morning, then it would be finished up I took part in his passing and that made him to dismiss the nourishment. Fortunately, for me, the sustenance vanished before day break despite the fact that I didn't trust in it. I didn't comprehend what happened. Who could have taken the sustenance implied for a dead man? Would it be able to be that their diviner let them know I didn't take part in the demise of my better half and one of them expelled the nourishment? Be that as it may, demonstrating my purity did not prevent them from harming me and my youngsters further," If this was all Eunice needed to experience then it would have been tolerable however there was no ceasing the in-laws. From checking her culpability in the demise of her significant other, they went further to deny her legacy rights. As indicated by her, "my better half's relatives attempted perpetually to gather my significant other's privileges from the organization where he acted as the lawful consultant. They went similarly as heading off to the manage an account with a distributed notification of his passing however the bank did not respect their interest since they were not his closest relative.
my email - rachele20022002@yahoo.com